Day 2

With a Cheeto hangover, I bumbled into my office with my usual routine.  It dawned on me I hadn't asked the obvious question, "What will my job be until June 1?"  The internet was spotty but I managed to get in touch with Lynette by phone.  I knew how upset she was the day before and thought we'd both feel better if we talked.  We stayed on the phone well over an hour, reaching out, asking questions, comforting one another, making jokes, wondering about other colleagues, trying to be strong, and being together.


I felt if I could accomplish something I'd feel better. Accomplish something pertaining to control, my future, anything.  So, I changed our answering tape and my tagline in my gmail account. There.  That would make it better. Now, I've begun the separation process.


Jillian called.  What a sweetie!  She was feeling the same thing this morning.  We both did the same FB post:  Yesterday was not a bad dream; it was real.  Mine was, "Reality Check, yesterday was not a bad dream.  What now Lord."

Britt called to say she was coming to DC...one last time to celebrate as we'd always done...at an NWP event.  It comforted me.  Just as she had comforted me the day before when I called her sobbing and just as I can always count on her to comfort me.
I was still in PJs at 10ish when Matt called to say a contractor was coming over.  I retreated to a bubble bath, the first step of trying to gather my wits.  I didn't relax, even reading.

Penny came up to chat; she's leaving for England Monday and I'm so happy she is making her transition.  Two months there to think...with no burden of property or responsibility here...I was a bit envious.  Yesterday I kept thinking, I want to run away.  Something in me was seven again.  I could see my father's anger when I ran away and returned home half hour later with a stray kitten I wanted to keep.  Being vulnerable brings back all sorts of memories.

We ended the day at church.  Mom was in a bad mood, people at church were controlling, we were the hosts, so I never had time for the spiritual state of mind I usually have there.  It was disappointing.

By ten I was back in fetal position in bed.