Saturday, October 1, 2011

A New Decade

Flowers from my sis
I turned 60 this past Monday.  I've heard a million cliches about aging like:   "It's only a number.  Numbers don't define me.  60 is the new 40,"  etc. etc.  I'm sure you've heard them too.

         I can remember when I turned 50 it felt really BIG.  Reaching 50 resembled reaching the top of a mountain knowing the next step would be descending.  In that sense, I spent the 50s in that mode of thinking.  Both my mother and stepmother died at 42.  My father died at 56 so when I reached 50 I felt the hour glass was almost empty.  I was racing against time...out of sands... the best was over. Between 40 and 50 I became like most middle-aged women- invisible.  What does that mean?  It means no one looks at you, doors once opened for you, gently shut in your face.  The guy sitting next to you on a plane doesn't notice you need help with your bag in the overhead bin.  There is no need to primp for hours because no one notices anyway.  It's an interesting phenomenon after several decades of celebrating womanhood, knowing men were glancing or flirting, feeling pretty at least some days.   This feeling of invisibility was compounded because my husband and sons and brothers never acknowledged my birthday: they simply forgot.  I was crushed.
                        I am pleasantly surprised as I enter this latest decade. I had some expectations of doing something incredibly special but they were unrealistic.  I know now, if that is what I'm expecting, I'll need to make it happen.   Turning 60 was just another day.  Most importantly, I was able to enjoy each moment of that day with my son and husband as we drove, toured, ate, drank, and rested.  Just that was enough.
Matt and Myles at the Vista House, OR
Last night I went to the theater and saved two dollars because now...I'm 60.  It's exciting  to know I've outlived the family odds.  I don't care that I'm invisible; in fact, I like it.  Let me live in the moment, shop without makeup, wear what I want, open my own doors, help others with their bags, and be exactly whatever I want to be.  I am blessed with health, friends, family, and love.  That is all I need at 60 or in any other decade.  I got the best gift this year, a gift I'm sure my parents would have loved, I have the gift of life and I plan to cherish it as long as I live.
Flowers from Michael, Sky, Riley and Sunny