Day 66--Looking for words

I should be under the bright, sunny skies of Berkeley today on old stomping grounds surrounded by familiar friends.  Instead, I sit alone,  perched on my hillside, surrounded by wispy clouds and the sound of rain.  My suitcase still packed, I am still, holding the blood from flowing and the tears from falling; the day holds numbness. 
Fifteen minutes away from my "exit" interview, I am anxious.  What will be asked, what will I reply, what is the purpose? 
Where are the words today?  Instead, my mind fills with images, sounds, and smells.  I  trace the path to the NWP office with visions of familiar landmarks and smell aromas of the Northern California flowers.  I can hear the bells of the Campanile calling and taste the salt air of the bay and long for one last cup of coffee from our favorite spot.
Images, no words. Images of Lynette's petite pixiness and Caroline's sweet smile.  Of Paul's head tilted just so as he laughs,  Shelby's arms outstretched, Nicki helping someone with technology, the baby bumps of Sharline and Sela, Shirley's shivering, and My's calm presence.  Grant's eyes glisten and Mary Ann's broad grin never fades.  Melinna and Brenda side by side...Batman and Robin on the task...steady, diligent, and caring.  Jillian's energy and Linda's brain ticking quickly, Lily's sincerity and Vicki's enthusiasm, and Marilyn remains calm and supportive.  Judy, Elyse, Tanya, Joye, Pat, Tom will be present but still working....still striving to make it all okay, better than okay...maybe thinking about a drink together later.  Corinne, Kathleen, Kate,  Shannon planning some fun, no doubt.  My Misha heavy with heart, taking it all in and aching a bit inside.  Chris too will hold all closely to her heart.  All those there and not, images.  I hope Shirley is drinking something fruity in Spain and Vanessa and Linette are surrounded by family.  All the SDLs Tish, Susan, Nancy, Rick, Nick, all of them, I see their faces and hear their voices...wise voices to guide the directors onward.  How long has Nicole M. been there for all of us?  How about Pat Sweeney?  I see them working, always working.  I can't list them all but I see them each one.   I see them and feel them so vividly; I simply can't take it in today and come up with sufficient words.  All I can do is note the images...hoping to keep them forever in my heart.