So far, my summer has been like no other. I've been surrounded by people and had endless visitors staying at the "Mumford Spa and Resort" nestled in the hills of Tillamook county. Most significantly unique is being unemployed and keeping my granddaughter for a couple of months. Having time to spend collecting worms, dressing paperdolls, creating Birthday Bear cakes with colorful playdough, cutting, pasting, and coloring is taking me back to my own childhood. I don't remember having this sort of time with my own boys. It seems we were always in the middle of a military move, or I was in school, or the boys were shifting from activity to activity. I don't remember taking time to BE with them.Recently, I had lunch with the son of a close friend. He will be married Saturday and has spent summer in the throws of planning a wedding. The look of stress on this young man's face is visibly evident. He is focused on perfection. I couldn't help but feel disappointed; this should be one of the happiest times in his young life, and yet, his days are steeped with worry and attention to detail.
This strive for perfection reminded me of the summer my family rafted the Snake River. The day was a bit windy and rainy as we arrived before sunrise. The guide, a young man clearly rooted in nature and living in the moment, made a comment I'll never forget. "Enjoy the rain today as it will make this experience memorable. It is not the perfect days we remember, but those less perfect that stand out." He was right. I remember being wet, sliding as I climbed up the bank to an outside breakfast, the smell of bacon drawing me upward to the outdoor kitchen. I recall the eagles and their nest...in full view without the bright sun in our eyes. We never received the expensive pictures we purchased; and yet, I remember the trip vividly. It is etched in my mind forever.
When I remarried, my son AW was five. One of the greatest memories of the day was his perfectly imperfect presence. The photographs took much longer with his wiggly- self eagerly awaiting the cake to follow. "AW, lower your chin," the photographer pleaded. He did ...with mouth wide open. My brother captured it all on video. The imperfection of the photography session is a highlight of our wedding day. We still chuckle now as I show his five year old the wedding video and her father's antics. Had it been perfect, I would not have remembered the photo session at all.
So to all you wedding planners, brides and grooms--striving for imperfection: relax, and enjoy your day of whatevers. The imperfection of life, and how you accept it, is what will carry you through the good times and bad to a happily ever after in the making.
Groomology: Maybe this would have helped my friend. Let's face it, how many grooms study up on things!
